Walking Away from a Toxic Relationship
By Anonymous |
Breathe again...
Is your significant other constantly putting you down physically, mentally or emotionally? If so, chances are you’re in a toxic relationship. Follow these eight steps to walk away for good.
Time for some serious self-reflection
It’s time to be honest with yourself and discover who you are inside and outside of the relationship. Do you find yourself in relationships with needy men or women that you feel like you can ‘fix’? Are you always forgiving, aiming to accommodate or please? If you’re in a toxic relationship, chances are this isn’t your first and it’s important for you to identify your insecurities and understand the role you’re playing in those relationships before you can move forward and find happiness.
Confront denial
If you’re in a toxic relationship, you’ll need to be prepared to confront denial head on. Time to ask yourself a series questions: Are you in this relationship because you feel sorry for the person? Are you giving everything to the relationship and you’re getting little in return? Do you feel like you’re not worthy of this person or that you deserve less? Answering these questions will help you identify why you end up in these types of relationships and why it is more than necessary to get out of them.
Surround yourself with positive people
If the people you’re surrounding yourself with endorsed your toxic relationship or are in their own toxic relationships, you may want to reconsider the advice they’ve been giving you and hanging around them all together. When you’re walking away from a toxic relationship, it’s key that you’re around people who truly care about your well-being. If you have or had friends that were willing risk the friendship to tell you things that you may not have wanted to hear about your significant other, it may be time to reconnect with them.
Occupy your time
Many toxic partners will keep you from doing the things you love to do. You spend so much time around them that it’s hard to readjust when you finally step away. However, it’s necessary to find alternative sources that will complete you outside of the relationship and will bring you happiness. Close your eyes and go back to a time before the relationship where you were at peace or you were in control. That will be your starting place.
Start journaling
If you don’t keep a journal, this is the perfect time to start writing in one. If you’re feeling like a complete wreck, it’s ok to write it down. You’d be surprised how therapeutic journaling can be. At the end of each log, write down five things you’re thankful for that day and five things you find beautiful about yourself. Feel free to keep it simple. Repeat these affirmations and remind yourself how beautiful you really are.
Reward yourself
Walking away from a toxic relationship isn’t easy but nobody said it had to be miserable. Every time you take a step in the right direction like not initiating or returning phone calls, facebook messages or texts for a week from your toxic ex, treat yourself to something you like. Who said anything was wrong with a little positive reinforcement? On the flip side, if you do fall short, don’t punish yourself. We all make mistakes. If you do, dust your shoulders off and start over again.
Don’t immediately run to another relationship
After coming out of a relationship, especially a long or toxic one, it’s easy run to another relationship where you think you’ll find security. This isn’t what you need. It’s time for you to get your power and control back and space will allow you to do this. A little time away from the relationship game won’t hurt you.
Discover your non-toxic prince (or princess) charming
Remember, relationships are supposed to support your growth and development; lift you up, not bring you down. After you’ve taken some time off to discover what you truly want and deserve (this will take awhile), you’re ready to be with someone who celebrates the beautiful person you are, inside and out.
Team Ghery
