By Therese J. Borchard | 10.15.13 |
Join a Book Club
If your neighborhood doesn’t have a book club, you can usually join one as part of the local library, the recreational or community center, the community college, or online, of course. Many papers will post book club notices, as well. Hey, and you could start one. Then advertise in local coffee shops, recreation centers, etc.
Volunteer
That one seems like a no-brainer, but, seriously, have you ever considered how many charities to which you could give your time? Your local civic association is always in need of volunteers for projects like “let’s clean up the park before a hundred dogs crap on it again” and Greenscape (the same thing), toys-for-tots, Christmas In April, and so on. Don’t forget about all your local politicians who need help with their campaigns. If one impresses you, offer to knock on a few doors for her or him. Host a cheese and cracker party for the community to get to know the candidate. These are not only friend-making possibilities, they are networking opportunities and a chance to give back and feel good about that. Remember that “Seinfeld” episode where Jerry gets a girl’s number off of an AIDS walk? Bingo. That’s what I’m talking about.
Go Online
If you’re reading this, you have probably already taken this step! Good for you, because according to a 2002 study published in the “American Journal of Psychiatry“, Internet support groups have been shown to help those suffering from depression. The study followed a group of more than 100 individuals with high severe depression who joined online support groups. Though many had received other forms of treatment, such as face-to-face therapy (86 percent) or antidepressants (96 percent), more than 95 percent of users agreed that participation in the depression Internet support groups helped their symptoms. “Yeah, but those guys are kids,” you’re thinking to yourself. WRONG. Less than half of Facebook’s 35 million users are college students, and by the end of this year its executives predict less than 30 percent of Facebook users will be sleeping in dorms and eating dining hall food. Several of my supportive friendships have been born online, and the others (that weren’t born online) have been sustained through online technology.
Join a Support Group
Folks, there’s more than AA out there today. Have you ever looked through all the local listings of meetings in your area? But seriously, for depressed folks there are Recovery meetings (based on Recovery, Inc. founded by Dr. Abraham Low), DRADA (Depression and Related Affective Disorders) groups, NAMI (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill) groups, DBSA (Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance) groups. I’ve also considered assertive-training classes at my local YWCA (and they have all sorts of programs) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy groups at the community college.
Take a Class
That’s where you can supposedly meet men (or women) if you find yourself single in your late 30s or 40s or 50s. If you take a class in something that you are interested in, you’re very likely to find potential friends with similar interests.
Get a Dog
I’m not talking about using the dog as a companion, although studies do indicate that pets are natural healers of depression. I just mean that dogs are people magnets–and usually nice-people magnets. If you walk your mutt in certain neighborhoods, you will meet approximately five to ten friends per mile. Double that if you’re walking a Golden Retriever. Triple it if you head to the “dog park,” designed specifically for doggy play, or proper socialization for dogs. (These owners might be wrapped a little too tight in my humble opinion–the kind of parents who buy mechanically-elaborate, safety-insured high chairs for their kids, replete with helmets in case of a drop.) Dog people talk dog language. Horse people talk horse language.
Steal from Friends
I realize this technique was frowned upon in the fifth grade. You would surely earn a reputation as a friend-stealer if you tried this too many times. I have found this to be a very efficient method of making friends, because someone has already done your dirty work–the interview process–and weeded out the toxic folks.
Carpool
Hey, it works for elementary school kids. Many six-year-olds meet their best buddies on the bus because 1) they live in their neighborhood (what could be more convenient?), 2) they are on the same schedule, and 3) they know the same people. Not only is this technique eco-friendly, it makes sense on many levels: you already know a lot about these people (and if you don’t, you can always ask someone in your office who knows them better if they are friend-worthy), they have already been screened for drug use (score!), you already have a few things in common.
Attend a Conference
I’m a tad embarrassed to admit this, but I am a conference addict. I love conventions, mostly because I get to feel like a grown-up: there’s a smaller chance of someone vomiting on my shirt (unless she has had a martini too many) than if I stay at home. I’ve met some of my best friends at conferences that I attend on a regular basis like the Religious Bookseller Trade Exhibit, which is more of a retreat than a professional trade show. I try to get there as often as possible, because these get-togethers serve as a reunion of sorts. And I usually fly home with a stack of business cards, or potential friends.
Connect with Your Alumni Associations
I used to be much better at this before kids came along. I still pay my dues. Alumni associations are gold mines for potential friends. You already have a major experience in common: you can rehash old times as a conversation starter if you need one. Plus many associations sponsor community service events, workshops, or trips abroad that you can take advantage of even if you don’t need friends.
Talk to Strangers
I know this goes against what you were taught in elementary school. But, yes, the way to meet friends is to strike up a conversation with absolutely anyone. This means becoming the annoying lady everyone dodges on the plane: “So … what are you reading? … Oh, ‘Left Behind.’
Team Ghery
